she used to sing to me when my heart needed a break

she hasnt sung to me in a week

maybe thats why it feels like my heart cant take a break
or let itself break
or feel how much its hurting

maybe its because it knows her soft voice
whispers of “princess which song?”
wont mend it this time

its got me
my heart’s got anxiety with a voice rougher than one of an army officer “helping” it
there arent soft voices

there are demands of
“heal yourslef”
and “stop hurting”
and “i cant believe youre fucking breaking again”
and its got dissapointment coating it rather than the warmth its used to

maybe thats why ive been afraid of picking up a pen lately
i dont think i wanted to see myself hurt on a page
and let anxiety hound into numbing my pain

but now,
now im here,
and im singing to myself,
i think my heart just took a break
and let itself break.

“she says i smell like safety and home-”

-9:52pm, 1/12/16